Mindfulness is a word that can be intimidating for here is an easy example of how to use it in your everyday chaotic life.
When you feel a need to “REACT” to a person, event, or other trigger you will want to instead:
PAUSE
As soon as you feel the intense emotions in your body, immediately stop yourself from doing anything at all. Take a deep breath to deescalate the emotion to a tolerable level. The action of “PAUSING” is what it means to be mindful. You have just realized in that very moment what is happening is triggering an emotion in your body that you are uncomfortable with. When we don’t pause, or be mindful, we instead feel the emotion and react from a conditioned response that in turn creates an escalated event that could have been prevented. Escalated events just make things worse and rarely solve problems and often create new ones.
REFLECT
Now that you have taken a deep breath and mindfully chosen to not react you can take a quick moment to “REFLECT” on what just happened. Ask yourself, is what just happened true? Is it my problem that I need to be accountable for? Is it their problem and or a situation that has nothing to do with you?
RESPOND
Once you have determined where the underlying cause may come from you can breathe and “RESPOND” by first validating the other person's feelings. Next if the issue at hand does not need you to take accountability then ask the person how you can help them or just quietly move along and allow the validation to be enough. If the person had a right to be upset then after you have validated their feelings kindly take accountability and ask how you can help make the situation better. Be prepared at this point to have the other person respond with actions they feel need to happen and know that you may need to breathe and tell them either you will work on it or you need to walk away and de-escalate so you can come back with a clear head to work on it from a healthy place.
REMEMBER:
Pause - breath
Reflect - why you are being triggered.
Determine if the trigger is yours or someone else's.
If the trigger is yours, accept it and respond with accountability.
If the trigger is someone else's, inwardly acknowledge their perspective or feelings.
Respond accordingly.
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